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White House State Dining Room on February 27, 2016

Hello, all! Things have been moving quickly for me lately.

Friends!

Just this past weekend, my dear friend Melissa came to visit me here in DC. She arrived Friday afternoon and left this morning, and in those two and a half days, we visited the White House, the Kennedy Center, the Folger Shakespeare Library, The Hamilton (a restaurant on 14th Street), the Georgetown Neighborhood Public Library, Good Stuff Eatery, and Pie Sisters. We walked at least 15 miles in two days and got relatively little sleep. It was absolutely wonderful to see her, and I'm so grateful that she came.

RA

Last Thursday, I received an email notifying me that I am going to be an RA! I'll be staying another year in this dorm, Village C West (VCW)! I'm thrilled to have the chance to help new freshmen adjust to Georgetown and to college life in general. Mom is particularly pleased that RA financial benefits include housing and a meal plan. Next year is thus far looking good!

Moving

Since I was a small child, my parents have talked about wanting to move "back home" to be closer to family. I didn't understand the complicated nature of moving at the time, so I went to school often saying, "We're moving to Nebraska!" One year, a couple of girls asked me, "Why are you still going to school here? I thought you were moving to Nebraska."

Well, finally we are moving to Nebraska—or rather, my family is. My mother just signed the paperwork for a new job and announced it to her coworkers and friends, so the news is public. My family will be moving to Omaha this summer, hopefully at the end of June. Until then, my father will rapidly paint, renovate, and otherwise pretty-up my childhood home. My mother will start her new job in April, commuting occasionally but mostly working long-distance, and my sisters will finish their last school year at Ocee Elementary and their last few months of being Georgia girls.

As for me, I will return home after finals and help pack up the house. I will help my family move into the house in Omaha, and in mid-August I will return to DC. At that point DC will be my home. I will of course visit my parents in Omaha and my friends in Atlanta, but I will live in DC.

Midterms

Academics are currently stressful! I have a hundred things to do before I go home to Georgia this Friday, and over my spring break I will spend time with my family, my friends, and my textbooks, getting ready for Round Two after the break. Once I make it through this week, I can sleep, at least a little bit more than I have been lately.

To Sum Up:

I am tired. I'm feeling more at home here in DC. I'm excited about some things and happy about some things and anxious about some things, and overall I'm just ready for the nap I'm going to take an hour from now.

I hope everyone is doing well!

P.S.: I'm pleased I get to make a post on February 29. Cheers!

Loss

2000-2016

I am having a really hard time. I feel weird about putting that on the internet where I know my grandma can read it, but it's true. My cat died last week. I am struggling. I am crying as I type. I have cancelled on a lot of people in the past week because I don't want to go anywhere or see people or do things. I want not to think. I want her to be alive. I want to hold her.

I'm a little late on this week's post. I delayed because I was busy and because I didn't feel right about posting something primarily negative.

Here are the positives in my life right now:

• I have shelter, food, and clean water.
• I have clothes & blankets that keep me warm during this cold of winter.
• The sun is setting later and later; today it was 5:20 when I suddenly realized it was still bright outside and I silently, slightly, rejoiced.
• I have a lot of people who love me.
• I have cute things to brighten up my life—art from Cassie on my wall, a drawing from my cousin Cameron, a pretty flowery keyboard cover, nice stickers on my computer, lovely blankets.
• I go to school in an amazing city, at an amazing university.
• Jesuits exist and I'm friends with a few of them.
• Chaplains-in-residence are really great, and I can email them at any time to set up a coffee date.
• I can walk and run and otherwise move independently.
• I have a teddy bear from my best friend Helen that I can hug because, in the words of her little brother Ethan, "you can't be sad when you're hugging a teddy bear." (I'm sorry to report that, actually, you can.)
• My classes are interesting this semester, and I'm involved in really interesting discussion groups for the semester as well.

There are probably more. Writing this list was helpful for me because I am very sad and depressed, and it was helpful to be reminded of my blessings in life. I'm sorry for a primarily negative blog post; I hope you'll forgive me.

Home

The Lantern Bookstore on P Street

I have a few new goals for this semester, all working toward one big goal: feel at home in DC. I want to go out and explore much more—find the cool little shops around the city, beautiful study spaces for when I need a change of scenery, and the best places to get a smoothie. I want DC to feel like home. Right now, my home is still Johns Creek, but my family won't live there forever. Ever since I was a child, my parents have talked about wanting to move back to Nebraska, and now that I live in DC, there's very little stopping them from finally moving. I won't always have Johns Creek to come back to, so I need to make DC my new home. Living here, it seems, isn't enough. I have to get to know the place, too.

Today my friend Julia and I walked down P Street toward the public library, and we found a cool shop that sells "Used & Rare!" books. I'm considering making every Sunday my day to get off campus and find something cool and new. I would say I like DC, but honestly, I don't know it well enough yet. We've only just met.

Blizzards?

Last weekend DC, along with much of the East Coast, was hit with a large storm. Along the southern coast was mostly rain, but the DMV area was hit with more snow than I've ever seen in my life. There was a frankly horrific amount of snow. Growing up in Georgia, I didn't see much snow. In two days, 22 inches of snow fell on DC, and I was overwhelmed. During the snow storm a few friends and I walked about a mile to deliver food to a soup kitchen; the streets were deserted and everything felt eerily apocalyptic. Classes were cancelled on Monday and Tuesday, and then I became very sick and missed class on Wednesday and Thursday. There is still snow on the ground everywhere, but the roads and sidewalks are (mostly) clear. 

Today is a beautiful, sunny 57 degrees. I'm mostly healthy again, although I still have a bit of a stuffy nose, and Jesuit Heritage Week begins this evening. Jesuit Heritage Week is essentially a week-long celebration of the Society of Jesus, and Georgetown celebrates with Jesuit-student volleyball matches, special prayer services and religious services, and a number of talks and events. Tonight I'll be attending puja, the Hindu religious service, as part of Jesuit Heritage Week and also to complement my readings in my theology class. (Aunt Judy, if you're reading this, I'll be sending a few essays on Hinduism your way very soon!) 

I'm excited to start a new week, a new month, a new and sunny phase of life. Be well and happy, my readers! And let me know if there is anything I can do for you, such as writing about specific topics or even just including you/your intentions in my prayers.

Snowy Beginnings

Snow & Book Hill Park, January 17th, 2016

I've been back in DC for less than a week, and on two separate occasions have enjoyed the beauty of falling snow! The snow isn't sticking yet, but it's still beautiful.

My first three days of classes were fine and even interesting, despite just being the introductory syllabus week. This semester will be extremely busy, and to stay on top of things, I'll have to work very hard. I'm considering dropping a class so that I have a little more time to breathe, but we'll see how everything turns out.

On my plane ride back to DC, I listened to the musical Hamilton, which I highly recommend. A blend of hip-hop, rap, R&B, and musical theatre, Hamilton follows the life of Founding Father Alexander Hamilton, an immigrant who "[wrote] like he's running out of time" and rose from poverty to fame through determination and hard work. The musical was written by Lin-Manuel Miranda, the son of an immigrant who also works insanely hard. Listening to such an inspiring story by and about hard-working people was a great motivator for the beginning of this semester. Over the past few days I've often said, "Alexander Hamilton would have started and finished that by now," and, "Lin-Manuel Miranda would do this immediately." It's always a pleasure and a gift to find new sources of inspiration and motivation.

I am currently writing this post from the Georgetown Public Library, an old and beautiful building that looks like it could have been a plantation house once upon a time. I can't imagine the history that must have occurred here, the people that have been here, and it's an amazing place to work and think. The collection of books is quite good as well, and I have five books I'm going to check out and hopefully find time to read. I don't want my life to be all work, all the time. I doubt I could survive that with my sanity intact.

My classes are quite interesting for this semester! Already I've learned that the human tongue is a muscular hydrostat (meaning it has no bone, cartilage, or other structure) and its "closest biological analogs are the trunk of an elephant and the tentacle of an octopus" (from Sounds of Language by Elizabeth Zsiga). I've learned about Hinduism, fairy tales, native languages in Latin America, and the complications of "justice" and its meanings. I'm confident that this semester will be interesting and engaging; I'm hopeful that I'll escape in one piece!

Be well, warm, and happy on this lovely Sunday!

2015 in Review

Healy Hall, December 15, 2015

Currently listening to: Dance Party playlist on Spotify

Housekeeping

It's been a bit too long since my last blog post! I am a big fan of resolutions and fresh starts, and one of my New Year's Resolutions for 2016 is to post on this blog biweekly.

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One Semester Down, Seven to Go

I now have completed my first semester of college, and I finally received my grades! There's a lot about the Georgetown grading system that I don't yet understand, but I plan on fixing that next semester so that I'm not anxiously unaware of my grades throughout finals season. My grades turned out very well this semester, and I'm grateful that I gave myself the leniency of just trying my best and not worrying about the numbers. My mother has already posted my grades on Facebook (thanks, Mom), but I'll tell you all that I came out with a 3.668 GPA. It's definitely lower than my high school average, but that's okay. As I've already stated on this blog, first semester freshman year often sees a dip in grades. I went from a Georgia public high school to Georgetown University; a lower GPA is unsurprising. I'll continue trying my best in the semesters ahead!

Next semester I will be taking:

• Intro to Justice and Peace Studies, a course about peace, diplomacy, and social justice
• Sounds of Language, a linguistics course on phonetics and phonology
• Advanced Spanish II
• History Seminar: Popular Culture in Early Modern Europe
• Problem of God, a famous Georgetown class on theology and how it figures into the human experience 
• Intro to Ballroom Dance, a leisure and recreation 0-credit course just for fun

Mental Health ¿?

This semester was very hard on me. I've struggled with mental illness off and on since I was thirteen, and this semester depression and anxiety took hold of me once again. Because of that, I don't know what to say when people asked me about Georgetown. "How is Georgetown? How was school? Do you love it there?" and similar questions are difficult to answer; I do love Georgetown, I think. I do love it there, I think. But school was hard; at Georgetown I am so far from every support system I made for myself to cope with my mental illness at home, and I'm doing my best to create new support systems at Georgetown. It's slow going, but I'll make it happen. I still can't see myself at any other university, and that's how I know I do love it. Coming home was reassuring because the depression did not disappear, meaning the problem is not DC, but my own mental health.

I'm going to make a lot of lifestyle changes in the New Year and keep trying to pursue support systems at Georgetown. I'm feeling confident about next semester. Mental health is not easy, just like every other aspect of health. Without health and love, we have nothing; it's important to prioritize both health and relationships, both of which require substantial effort and upkeep. It's foolish to think that either are easy, and detrimental to assume that mental health (or any other aspect of health) just sorts itself out. I'm feeling confident that I've learned enough about myself and my mental illness to fight it, and hopefully, win.

2015

This has been a big year! I graduated high school, moved out of my parents' house and out of Georgia, and began studying at Georgetown. Here are some of my best moments of 2015:

June 20: Bootyclan reunited and we took this wonderful, happy picture.

August 4: Allison, Melissa, Isabel, and I hiked part of the AT and stayed at the Hike Inn. 

August 11: every time I saw Helen (this is just a good representative picture)

July 2-9: Panama City Beach with my family and the Leatherburys.

July 10-12: Steubenville Atlanta.

September 9: Tyler Joseph of the band twenty one pilots sings above the crowd at Echostage in DC.

September 24: I saw Pope Francis and wept. 

October 16: my family visited me at Georgetown.

October 25: Father Greg Schenden, S.J., collects himself before Mass on the ReFRESHMENt retreat at the Calcagnini Contemplative Center in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia.

October 30: my lovely friends took me to dinner on my nineteenth birthday.

October 30: Ellen Bannon gave me flowers for my birthday. The real best moment, though, was when I met her and became friends with her. (This is just a particularly lovely picture of her and our friendship.)

November 8: I made this cookie for my tutee in the DC Schools Project program. Tutoring her gives me great joy.

November 14: after months without orchestra, seeing the National Symphony Orchestra felt like breathing again. 

November 21: my parents surprised me by bringing Topper, my cat of fifteen years, to my grandparents' house for Thanksgiving break.

December 8: celebrating the Feast of the Immaculate Conception at Dahlgren Chapel was beautiful; meeting Father Leo O'Donovan, S.J., former president of the university and for whom the dining hall is named, was equally wonderful.

December 19: Allison and my family picked me up from the airport. 133 days was too long without her.

 
 Some of my other best moments include graduating from Chattahoochee High School, having my extended family come for my graduation, my graduation party, seeing Smirts again after a long semester, and realizing that I'm asexual.

In Sum

2015 was a long year full of adventure, love, and good fortune. There were ups and downs as usual, but I'm just as blessed as always.

Thank you for reading and for supporting me this year! Take care, and see you in 2016~!