2015 in Review

Healy Hall, December 15, 2015

Currently listening to: Dance Party playlist on Spotify

Housekeeping

It's been a bit too long since my last blog post! I am a big fan of resolutions and fresh starts, and one of my New Year's Resolutions for 2016 is to post on this blog biweekly.

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One Semester Down, Seven to Go

I now have completed my first semester of college, and I finally received my grades! There's a lot about the Georgetown grading system that I don't yet understand, but I plan on fixing that next semester so that I'm not anxiously unaware of my grades throughout finals season. My grades turned out very well this semester, and I'm grateful that I gave myself the leniency of just trying my best and not worrying about the numbers. My mother has already posted my grades on Facebook (thanks, Mom), but I'll tell you all that I came out with a 3.668 GPA. It's definitely lower than my high school average, but that's okay. As I've already stated on this blog, first semester freshman year often sees a dip in grades. I went from a Georgia public high school to Georgetown University; a lower GPA is unsurprising. I'll continue trying my best in the semesters ahead!

Next semester I will be taking:

• Intro to Justice and Peace Studies, a course about peace, diplomacy, and social justice
• Sounds of Language, a linguistics course on phonetics and phonology
• Advanced Spanish II
• History Seminar: Popular Culture in Early Modern Europe
• Problem of God, a famous Georgetown class on theology and how it figures into the human experience 
• Intro to Ballroom Dance, a leisure and recreation 0-credit course just for fun

Mental Health ¿?

This semester was very hard on me. I've struggled with mental illness off and on since I was thirteen, and this semester depression and anxiety took hold of me once again. Because of that, I don't know what to say when people asked me about Georgetown. "How is Georgetown? How was school? Do you love it there?" and similar questions are difficult to answer; I do love Georgetown, I think. I do love it there, I think. But school was hard; at Georgetown I am so far from every support system I made for myself to cope with my mental illness at home, and I'm doing my best to create new support systems at Georgetown. It's slow going, but I'll make it happen. I still can't see myself at any other university, and that's how I know I do love it. Coming home was reassuring because the depression did not disappear, meaning the problem is not DC, but my own mental health.

I'm going to make a lot of lifestyle changes in the New Year and keep trying to pursue support systems at Georgetown. I'm feeling confident about next semester. Mental health is not easy, just like every other aspect of health. Without health and love, we have nothing; it's important to prioritize both health and relationships, both of which require substantial effort and upkeep. It's foolish to think that either are easy, and detrimental to assume that mental health (or any other aspect of health) just sorts itself out. I'm feeling confident that I've learned enough about myself and my mental illness to fight it, and hopefully, win.

2015

This has been a big year! I graduated high school, moved out of my parents' house and out of Georgia, and began studying at Georgetown. Here are some of my best moments of 2015:

June 20: Bootyclan reunited and we took this wonderful, happy picture.

August 4: Allison, Melissa, Isabel, and I hiked part of the AT and stayed at the Hike Inn. 

August 11: every time I saw Helen (this is just a good representative picture)

July 2-9: Panama City Beach with my family and the Leatherburys.

July 10-12: Steubenville Atlanta.

September 9: Tyler Joseph of the band twenty one pilots sings above the crowd at Echostage in DC.

September 24: I saw Pope Francis and wept. 

October 16: my family visited me at Georgetown.

October 25: Father Greg Schenden, S.J., collects himself before Mass on the ReFRESHMENt retreat at the Calcagnini Contemplative Center in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia.

October 30: my lovely friends took me to dinner on my nineteenth birthday.

October 30: Ellen Bannon gave me flowers for my birthday. The real best moment, though, was when I met her and became friends with her. (This is just a particularly lovely picture of her and our friendship.)

November 8: I made this cookie for my tutee in the DC Schools Project program. Tutoring her gives me great joy.

November 14: after months without orchestra, seeing the National Symphony Orchestra felt like breathing again. 

November 21: my parents surprised me by bringing Topper, my cat of fifteen years, to my grandparents' house for Thanksgiving break.

December 8: celebrating the Feast of the Immaculate Conception at Dahlgren Chapel was beautiful; meeting Father Leo O'Donovan, S.J., former president of the university and for whom the dining hall is named, was equally wonderful.

December 19: Allison and my family picked me up from the airport. 133 days was too long without her.

 
 Some of my other best moments include graduating from Chattahoochee High School, having my extended family come for my graduation, my graduation party, seeing Smirts again after a long semester, and realizing that I'm asexual.

In Sum

2015 was a long year full of adventure, love, and good fortune. There were ups and downs as usual, but I'm just as blessed as always.

Thank you for reading and for supporting me this year! Take care, and see you in 2016~!

Untitled #1

statue of John Carroll, Georgetown's founder, this morning November 14, 2015 

Red Square, November 14, 2015

Life is strange sometimes. Last night felt like the entire world was falling apart—Paris under attack, suicide bombs in Beirut and Baghdad, earthquakes in Japan and Mexico, and protests and ambulances on campus. My cell phone, for whatever reason, stopped working last night, but I luckily can receive iMessages on my laptop. Melissa informed me of Paris, and for a long moment of ignorance being bliss, I forgot that my friend Ana is in Paris. Then I remembered, and from that moment to the one in which I got a hold of her, I experienced all-consuming fear.

I'm writing this as the Georgetown pep band performs very loudly outside my window. The sun is shining, the Healy clock tower chimes the quarter of the hour, and the wind sighs heavily. The juxtaposition of terror and beauty are nearly overwhelming, but I'm grateful to be in the beauty now. I'm grateful that there is beauty today to remind the world that hope exists. I'm grateful for the strength of human spirit which allows us to continue even in the most difficult of times.

A week from right now, I will be in Nebraska visiting my extended family. I will have completed 7 major assignments/assessments and, ideally, several interviews for my linguistics final project. I have been anxious and overwhelmed lately. It's often said that Georgetown's midterms start the third week of classes and last until the week before finals; right now I'm inclined to agree with that statement. I have thirteen more days of classes, after which we have reading days and then finals.

My current goals include getting my phone fixed, taking a nap, and surviving the next week of work. I pray for peace in the world, peace in our hearts and home, and peace in my mind.

19

Happy fall from the Hilltop! These pictures are from around Georgetown and around campus, and all but one were taken on my birthday.

Having a birthday somewhere other than Johns Creek, Georgia, was weird, but it was still a really great birthday. I've always loved my birthday because it's the one day a year where everyone tries to tell me how much they love me. Everyone is always really sweet and I'm always very happy. 19 was no exception! I was a little late to my first class since I overslept a little, but classes went fairly well. I went to Good Stuff Eatery for lunch with Isaac, Michael, and Ellen; on your birthday you can get a free milkshake from Good Stuff, and it was a good milkshake.

 After that I dragged Isaac and Michael around M St with me. I got a free cupcake from Sprinkles (the chai latte flavor is pretty dang good), and then I browsed Paper Source since I love stationery shops. Once the boys were about to melt from boredom and I'd had my fill of cute stationery, we went to Baked & Wired where the boys got sweets. We walked down to the waterfront and ate our cupcakes overlooking the Potomac.

Then we went exploring a little bit, and during our adventures I took most of the fall photos at the beginning of this post. Once we got back to campus, there were dogs all over Healy Lawn! I got to pet three of them, and it was a great birthday treat. I love love love animals.

Is this not one of the cutest photos ever? Look at that pug in a costume!

After our explorations, it was "nap time"—I intended to nap but I watched the new episode of How to Get Away With Murder instead. After nap time, most of the gang got together to go to dinner at Mai Thai, a Thai restaurant that is popular around Georgetown. On your birthday you can get a free entree from Mai Thai as long as you have your ID and someone to eat with (it's pretty much a BOGO free deal). It was such a nice meal, and the kids surprised me with mango ice cream at the end.

When we got back to campus, somehow they convinced me to complete the Georgetown tradition of sitting on John Carroll's lap. Right in front of Healy Hall (the big castle building, for anyone who doesn't know) is a large statue of John Carroll, the founder of our fine university. One of the many Georgetown traditions is to get a picture of you sitting on his lap. I discovered that this simple task is much harder than it looks because John is quite tall, at least twice my height. After a few embarrassing attempts, I finally made it.

Michael tried his best to take a good picture in the pitch-dark of 7:30PM in DC fall.

After some more exploring, we finally returned to Isaac's dorm room where we continued the squad movie night tradition. Every week we have squad movie night, meaning our group of friends piles into Isaac's room and someone chooses a movie to share with the group. The general movie theme is each person's favorite movie, but on this night we obviously changed our theme to Halloween movies. We watched Hocus Pocus, one of my favorite movies and one that I watch almost every year on my birthday. We drank apple cider and had a lovely time. Although she couldn't stay for the movie, Ellen made a quick stop in Isaac's room to drop off her gift for me—a bouquet of flowers! The flowers currently sit on my desk in a water bottle since I don't have a vase, and they brighten up my days. I made such good friends here.

Ellen is THE BEST!

I got cards from various people from home, and my roommate got me a Georgetown cupcake (pumpkin cheesecake mmmmmmm). My birthday was absolutely wonderful. I have a good life here, good friends and good people and a good job and good circumstances. I'm always blessed, and I think on my birthday God likes to remind me of that fact a little bit more.

Family

Mom, chocolate ice cream, and peach melba at dinner on October 16, 2015

"Welcome to the Hoya Family!" they cheered at us during NSO. (For the non-Georgetown readers, NSO stands for New Student Orientation, the four days before classes start, full of overwhelming enthusiasm from orientation advisors and crippling freshmen awkwardness.) Honestly, the Hoya family isn't too far off from the Mohr family—just as many people I don't know at reunions, a hearty love of alcohol, and witty jokes. The only thing that's missing from the Hoya family is people telling me, "The last time I saw you you were this high!" like they'd forgotten about the passage of time and the growth patterns of children.

Last weekend was Family Weekend, and it highlighted an extremely important aspect of Georgetown and of the concept of "family" as a whole. 

My parents left Georgia last Thursday around 10 PM, and I woke up at 7:50 AM on Friday morning to a phone call from Mom. "We'll be there in fifteen minutes, okay, so get ready and we'll pick you up for breakfast!" My dad idled by Darnall Hall as we played twenty questions over the phone so that I could find him. (The winning answer was, "There's a hospital on campus, right? I think I'm by that.") We had breakfast in their hotel restaurant, and Mom could not stop smiling. The girls talked a mile a minute, just like always.

I was really excited to see and hug my family. I was really excited to introduce them to my new friends, and I was really excited to just hang out with them for a while. We ended up going to very few of the scheduled parents-weekend activities, deciding it was much more fun to spend time on our own. Everyone was really tired, them from the long car drive and me from doing this whole college thing, but it was so incredibly nice to see them.

Strangely, being with my immediate family made it feel like no time had passed. Also strangely, the "Hoya family" didn't seem to exist, at least not to me. The only family that mattered last weekend was my blood relatives and the people I had formed bonds with. I am a part of something here at Georgetown; I know that intellectually and emotionally. Maybe one day it will feel like a family, but for now, it is something Other, not necessarily worse but definitely not better. My family is the people I choose to love.

Rivers and Windchill

The Potomac River around 7:30 PM on October 10, 2015

It's extraordinary and strange and scary to think about how different my life is right now, and even more so to realize that right now is only the beginning of all that change. My parents met soon after college, and their lives completely changed together. Everything changes, and to be in a time of drastic and constant change is as terrifying as it is exhilarating. Today I met a recent Georgetown alumna who was a linguistics major and who is getting married on June 18. She met her fiancé at Georgetown—one of the many Hoyas who marry other Hoyas. Chances are high that I will meet my future spouse here at Georgetown.

So far, though, I'm just trying to get my feet solidly under me. I'm starting to feel less uprooted and more natural in this drastically different environment. I live in a city, next to a river, with colder Octobers, in a shared room, where nearly everyone is fabulously wealthy, in Ward 2 of the District. I live only a few miles from the White House. I cannot wrap my head around that.

Everything is going well, as I'm sure you were wondering. (I can hear you all now: "Hannah, stop babbling and tell us what we actually want to know!") Academics are a bit challenging in terms of time management—I've never had so much assigned reading in my life—but I'm getting decent grades. On my very first college test I earned a 95%! I have one test and one midterm this week, and then my midterm season is thankfully over.

Over the past two weeks, I've learned the importance of drinking water, getting eight hours of sleep, eating balanced meals, and exercising. I recently found a workout partner, Elizabeth, and we're set to work out in about seven hours. (Yes, I should probably be sleeping.) 

I've also learned the importance of just sucking it up, of communicating emotions, and of finding people you trust. I have found people I trust. It's still strange to open up to these new friends, but I'm making significant progress! Funnily enough, one of my closest friends here is named Ellen, and even though she's almost nothing like Helen, the similarity in names makes me smile.

I do have to admit, things haven't been entirely sunshine and daisies. The stress really got to me for a little while there, and the fact that I frequently forgot to take my medication didn't help matters. My main goal now is to prioritize properly. God, health, academics, and then everything else—that should keep me sane and healthy, but it can also be harder than it sounds. I'm trying my hardest to find the right balance in college since unfortunately my high school balance doesn't seem to apply here.

Even though it's strange to be here and I have no idea what my future looks like, I know deep in my bones that this is where I'm meant to be. I can't imagine myself anywhere else. I am so blessed.

Much love to you all,

Hannah Q.

VCW 301

After living here for a month, I finally took pictures of my dorm room for you all to see. Enjoy!

My white chair folds up when not in use, and my laundry hamper rests on my tub of food

My foot stool and part of my bed and desk 

The view from our door is mostly Kaitlin's side of the room

My wind chime hangs from our door-stopper

My rain boots and umbrella

Our door featuring my wardrobe, a poster Gracie got me for Christmas, and my colorful towels

My bed, window, and wardrobe

The succulent that Cassie gave me with the little pig that Haleigh gave me

The back of my wardrobe is covered in photos and art and poetry

The back of my wardrobe and its many pictures. The crucifix at the top was my mother's in college.

My desk

My shelves of novels, textbooks, water bottles, and keepsakes

Decorations of the wall above my desk

Decorations and reminders on the wall next to my desk

My roommate Kaitlin, her bed, and our refrigerator

Our shower curtain with dragonflies